I WAS WRONG

My Dear Friends,

I would like to share with you a very private and personal posting of mine:

Today was a sad day for me.

I somehow had convinced myself, that by now, after so many years of being exposed to some of the most atrocious environments and living conditions, I would be immune to overwhelming emotions.

I was wrong. 

Today, I witnessed the essence of human frailty and I was moved beyond what words can really describe.

My clients expose themselves to me. They are vulnerable and emotionally naked, revealing their inner most secrets and feelings.

At times they are so raw, I wonder how they have gone so long without aid. I can’t help but feel their pain.

But today, well today was different. 

What I experienced today took my breath away.

Part of me shook my head trying to see if I was really in reality.  The other part of me I believe went into temporary shock.

I am being brutally honest here when I say; I am not even sure how I did this, but when I realized that I had to pull it together and continue on with my work, I went on automatic pilot.  I don’t recall much after that until it was time to go home.

When I got in my car, I put my key into the ignition but I couldn’t start my car.  Instead, I gave into a wave of emotions and sat there in a tidal wave of tears.  I sobbed until I felt there was not a tear left in me.

I was broken.

As I write this, I know I have been changed.  Changed in a way that has created a new layer of empathy and understanding for human frailty.  A deeper dimension of unconditional acceptance.

I invite you to read my previous blog post “Hoarding News” and sincerely urge you to seek support if you or someone you care about is living in critical conditions.

With love,

Patricia