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Body Doubling

Body DoublingWhile sitting opposite from one another during our scheduled work session, a relatively seasoned client of mine looked directly at me and said “I think I like it better when I write in my own personal handwriting rather than you printing out labels for me.”

“OK” I said. “May I ask why?”

“I think I find it too impersonal and sterile. I find myself feeling more drawn to the files and want to pick them up when I see my own signature rather than unfamiliar printing.”

Since we already established a relationship with one another, I felt comfortable enough to ask her if there was anything else she wanted to let me know.

“Well, as a matter of fact,” she said, “I think I would really like it if I could try working for a while just on my own, while you sit there. Is that alright with you?”

I smiled back at her and said “Of course. Take your time and let’s see how it goes.” We agreed that we would try this for one hour without talking unless she needed my input.

As I sat there, I started to imagine what it would be like for me to have my assistant just sit in my office while I worked. But that image didn’t last long for me. Unlike my client, I am an active participant when it comes to my work and like to engage and interact with my staff and also require and enjoy their input and feedback.

So, I started to question in my mind what was really going on for my client. Was she beginning to feel more secure in her own sense of style and wanted to try it out while I was present or was it something more profound than this?

Fifty minutes into the hour, she asked if I would like a cup of tea. Sure I said, that sounds good right about now.

We took about a 15-minute break and sat outside on her deck. We talked about the weather, her new landscaping of shrubberies and a little about family.

As we walked back into her office, I asked her if she ever heard of the term “Body Doubling.” Her eyes widened and she just about whispered, “No, what is that?”

Well, I began; I believe that is what we are doing right now.

Having a person who is present and acting like and anchor, not an active assistant, allows the other person to stay focused and ignore distractions. I asked her if she agreed that was what we were doing.

“Absolutely,” she said. “Having you here somehow gives me permission to finish what needs to be done, and I don’t feel the urge to walk away.”

She wanted to know if the practice was common or highly unusual.

I explained that it depended-sometimes it is woven into the organizing practice quite naturally and in other circumstances it is introduced right away. One thing that is certain is that body doubling is highly effective and actually mirrors what organizing looks like.

With this new-found understanding, it made it easier for my client to accept that her initial request was in essence a particular organizing practice. Body doubling offers alternative solutions for people to succeed in their organizing endeavors, when they recognize they are challenged with distraction.

It was safe to say, my client and I worked silently for the next hour and a half and when I left, she felt empowered and satisfied with her accomplishments.

-Patricia Diesel
Keep It Simple Now

The Cure for Clutter

A long corridor is filled with clutter: boxes, paperwork, unopened mail, clothes to be donated, you name it, and the hallway has it.

It’s been years since the passageway has been clear. Doing a semi-twist and turn to get from one end to the other is part of the daily routine. Actually, in truth, the external clutter seems to have faded into part of the décor and really goes unnoticed after all this time.

But that’s just the beginning. Just about every room in the apartment has stuff untouched or looked at in years. Opening bedroom doors and throwing things in, not caring where they land, has become a way of life.

Does this sound like true confessions? Yes, in part you can say it sounds that way. But for most, it is an opportunity to freely express and reveal their best kept secret. Given that it is estimated more than 3 million Americans never throw anything out, these untold stories have kept many people feeling an astonishing amount of guilt and shame.

Clutter in mass degrees creates a sense of disorder and chaos not only within the confines of our home, but in our mind as well. Although there is some speculation that after a while pack-rats and hoarders tend to dismiss this, I truly haven’t found that to be the case as of yet.

Because if this were true, there wouldn’t be an overwhelming amount of people who attend clutter support groups. It is here, that one feels safe to be “who they are” and to state what’s on their minds. It is also very liberating to be able to gather among like minded people and identify with their challenges without feeling judged.

The point is that people need support and want to find a means to end their clutter challenge. Whether or not the progress is fast paced or measurably slow, it has been my experience that clutter bugs need an outlet for their “cure for clutter.”

Despite that some look terrified, most look nervous, and a few look intrigued, by and large, I have to say, the popular consensus is most just want relief.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed about your clutter, I urge you to find a way to connect with other people to talk about it. Consider joining a clutter support group – try several until you find the one you feel most comfortable with.

Did you know there are actually 50 cities in 17 states that have chapters of Clutters Anonymous, a 12-step recovery program? Some find programs such as these too over the top and prefer a less structured agenda. Others find support through on-line chat rooms or monthly groups that meet in different locations such as the support group I run through Barnes & Noble on a monthly basis. For more information on this support group, email me at [email protected].

Thanks for everything!

Patricia Diesel
Keep It Simple Now