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From Treasure to Stranger: Deciding What to Keep and Eliminate

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Are the things you hold onto truly treasures or mere things?

Isn’t it interesting how we hold onto our belongings as if we are holding onto life itself?

The idea that something we consider to be so precious to our hearts, can actually be given away, or thrown away for that matter, can feel as if our very last breath has been knocked out of us.

How is it possible then that the things we cling to and find so endearing can actually create pain for us? At what point does our “stuff” no longer feel good to us?

When posed this question, I found that most of my clients had a difficult time distinguishing what’s worth holding onto verses what can be let go.

The operative words here are “letting go.”

In most situations, trying to identify the treasures among all treasures becomes confusing and actually overwhelming. Everything begins to look like one huge treasure chest.

First, I think the most important question to ask yourself is what do you consider your definition of a treasure to be? What constitutes your items being called treasures rather than just stuff?

The next step is to go to the source of the pain. The question now to ask is “where does it hurt?” What things do you have around your home or environment that is creating a sense of disharmony for you?

Thinking along these terms, it’s sometimes easier to identify these hurtful objects by over-personalizing them using the “friend, stranger, acquaintance” game. In “Conquering Chronic Disorganization,” Judith Kolberg writes that “over personalization is the process of exaggerating the feelings that people have for their feelings. The exaggeration of personal feelings acknowledges these feelings and makes it possible for a person to move beyond them.” Using this philosophy, ask yourself, what strangers are looming around your home? And, by the way, what do you consider to be a stranger, anyway? For me, a stranger is someone for whom I have no feelings and in some cases actually can pose harm. So in relation to this, any “things” I have hanging around would be easy for me to dispose of.

Now, getting back to your treasures – how do you see them in comparison to a friend? Are your treasures really friends? For me, friends are there through thick and thin. I want my friends in my life all the time, so they participate in my life. So ask yourself, the things you consider treasures, are you treating them like friends? Do you expose them and are they interacting if your life? If you answered no, maybe the things you consider treasures are really stuff you can reduce to an acquaintance or stranger.

What I love about the friend/stranger/acquaintance game is that you can use this analogy in all aspects of life. I think it can help us really put our “things” into perspective. To the strangers, we can say goodbye; whether this comes in the form of an item, a job, or a relationship that is no longer serving us.

Acquaintances actually can be moved around at times from friend to stranger when appropriate, and we can feel OK about our decision when it’s time to let go.

And our friends, I think we can learn to honor what falls into this category and what warrants this title. If your treasures are truly friends, then bring them out and have fun with them. Your friends deserve your respect to be truly called treasures.

5 Most Common Organizational Starters

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Patricia Diesel

Patricia Diesel


We’re talking about organizational starters…

As the New Year approaches, we begin thinking about the things we would like to accomplish in the coming year. We don’t have to wait until spring to begin cleaning and getting organized, you can start with little projects right now to get yourself motivated.

Here are some suggestions on where and how to begin:

 1. Makeup Bag

Anything older than a year, such as lipsticks, foundations and concealers, toss it out. If mascara is older than four months or smells strange, discard it, as well as any other items that may be questionable.

2. Purse

Scale it down. There’s nothing appealing about lugging around a heavy handbag and not being able to find your wallet and keys. It can be extremely frustrating emptying your purse every time you need to find something.

3. Kitchen Drawer

Do you have too many spoons, not enough forks, and knives that don’t cut? Sales are always on the horizon, so why not think about purchasing some new silverware and get that drawer organized once and for all. What to do with the old set you ask? Why not donate them to a favorite charity, ask a college student if they may need them, or use them as a back-up for summer picnics.

4. Desk Drawer

I’m sure you will find everything here short of your kitchen sink, but let’s streamline things and keep the basic essentials to help you out in last-minute pinches.

  • Antiperspirants – for those stressful days
  • Breath mints – after your morning coffee
  • Eye drops – restore moisture after too many hours on the computer
  • Lint roller – remove lint and hair on clothing before those last-minute meetings
  • Antibacterial cloths – before and after meal cleanups and disinfect your phone
  • First-aid – bandages for paper cuts and blisters
  • Acetaminophen, ibuprofen, or aspirin – tension headaches, minor aches and pains
  • Plastic utensils – for the days you know you’re eating in.

5. Pantry

Take inventory of what you have. Look at expiration dates and circulate or toss out. If you have many opened boxes of the same food, consider combining all ingredients into one container to maximize your space. Remember to keep like with like.

What about your pots and pans? If you haven’t used some of your cookware in years, it may be time to let it go or replace with a more up-to-date product.

The five items listed above are some of the most commonly used areas in your daily life. Beginning here give you a taste of living an organized life. These 5 areas may inspire you to begin incorporating additional organization in your life. Remember, creating small wins is the first step toward changing behavior.

The Cure for Clutter

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A long corridor is filled with clutter: boxes, paperwork, unopened mail, clothes to be donated, you name it, and the hallway has it.

It’s been years since the passageway has been clear. Doing a semi-twist and turn to get from one end to the other is part of the daily routine. Actually, in truth, the external clutter seems to have faded into part of the décor and really goes unnoticed after all this time.

But that’s just the beginning. Just about every room in the apartment has stuff untouched or looked at in years. Opening bedroom doors and throwing things in, not caring where they land, has become a way of life.

Does this sound like true confessions? Yes, in part you can say it sounds that way. But for most, it is an opportunity to freely express and reveal their best kept secret. Given that it is estimated more than 3 million Americans never throw anything out, these untold stories have kept many people feeling an astonishing amount of guilt and shame.

Clutter in mass degrees creates a sense of disorder and chaos not only within the confines of our home, but in our mind as well. Although there is some speculation that after a while pack-rats and hoarders tend to dismiss this, I truly haven’t found that to be the case as of yet.

Because if this were true, there wouldn’t be an overwhelming amount of people who attend clutter support groups. It is here, that one feels safe to be “who they are” and to state what’s on their minds. It is also very liberating to be able to gather among like minded people and identify with their challenges without feeling judged.

The point is that people need support and want to find a means to end their clutter challenge. Whether or not the progress is fast paced or measurably slow, it has been my experience that clutter bugs need an outlet for their “cure for clutter.”

Despite that some look terrified, most look nervous, and a few look intrigued, by and large, I have to say, the popular consensus is most just want relief.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed about your clutter, I urge you to find a way to connect with other people to talk about it. Consider joining a clutter support group – try several until you find the one you feel most comfortable with.

Did you know there are actually 50 cities in 17 states that have chapters of Clutters Anonymous, a 12-step recovery program? Some find programs such as these too over the top and prefer a less structured agenda. Others find support through on-line chat rooms or monthly groups that meet in different locations such as the support group I run through Barnes & Noble on a monthly basis. For more information on this support group, email me at [email protected].

Thanks for everything!

Patricia Diesel
Keep It Simple Now