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Are You Accountable For Your Clutter?

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Are You Accountable For Your Clutter?

One morning I was in the office before usual business hours getting ready for my day ahead, when my telephone rang.  Detecting a sense of worry from the caller, I listened to her until her anxiety subsided.

I then asked her a question, which I believe became the turning point for her, which was;

“What part of the clutter are you willing to take ownership of ?”

 

Are You Accountable For Your Clutter?

It is not uncommon when someone is faced with insurmountable amounts of clutter to place blame on everyone or anything, as long as it isn’t them.  The reason being, I believe, is it can be very painful to accept (until we are ready) that we could be the source of own downfall.

From my experience, I have witnessed countless times, clients who try to maintain control over their clutter, failing to recognize that they are powerless over something that is virtually bigger than them.  Until their level of denial is penetrated, excuses will continue. It is when a person can accept the reality of what their clutter is about; a by-product or symptom of something else, the clutter will then cease.

There have been critical times, right before work will commence or a contract needs to be signed, that a person will reject or find fault with something in order to stay still in there mess.  The manifestation of their clutter is far more comforting then the prospect of clearing out the chaos.

This is the time that understanding and patience is required.  It is not always easy, if I do say so myself, especially when hours of time have been invested before hand, but never the less, it is in the client’s best interest not to pursue action, since it will only lead to unsuccessful attempts. 

One of the ways to break this cycle is to participate in support groups, sign up for workshops and engage in coaching programs that have an emphasis on clutter education.  This way, a foundation has been set and groundwork is complete before entering into a formal commitment of the de-cluttering process. 

As I have always maintained, baby steps are the way to changing behavioral patterns.  It is also important to recognize that celebrating your victories, no matter how small, is key for success.

In the end, the person who can maintain accountability for their actions will triumph over the clutter.

To learn more – check it out here: 

Do Your Actions Support Your Intentions?

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Recently I was faced with a decision that was difficult for me to make because I truly cared about someone, but I also knew deep down inside that this person was not ready for what I was capable of in terms of a balanced relationship. 

My intentions were set from the beginning to meet someone who is “emotionally” available in mind, body and spirit.  Hence, a man appeared from my past that I found myself attracted to.   

As time took it’s course, I tried to evaluate whether or not my decision to not go forward was realistic  – was it because I was honoring my intentions – or was it in response to injured feelings of a past hurt.  I had to be clear. 

What I found was although my one time “Forever Man” did forever change my life, this also allowed me to see what I could and could not accept in terms of what was healthy for me.  

It was nice to have companionship, it was lovely to have someone who thought about me, and it was endearing to be wanted, yet I knew by staying, I would not support my intentions of a long lasting, loving relationship.

He thought he was ready, I knew he wanted to be ready.  There was the difference. 

What about you?  Are your actions in alignment with what you desire?  Are you being true to yourself, no  matter how fearful it is or how much it hurts?

(Excerpts from Patricia’s New Book)

Body Doubling

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Body DoublingWhile sitting opposite from one another during our scheduled work session, a relatively seasoned client of mine looked directly at me and said “I think I like it better when I write in my own personal handwriting rather than you printing out labels for me.”

“OK” I said. “May I ask why?”

“I think I find it too impersonal and sterile. I find myself feeling more drawn to the files and want to pick them up when I see my own signature rather than unfamiliar printing.”

Since we already established a relationship with one another, I felt comfortable enough to ask her if there was anything else she wanted to let me know.

“Well, as a matter of fact,” she said, “I think I would really like it if I could try working for a while just on my own, while you sit there. Is that alright with you?”

I smiled back at her and said “Of course. Take your time and let’s see how it goes.” We agreed that we would try this for one hour without talking unless she needed my input.

As I sat there, I started to imagine what it would be like for me to have my assistant just sit in my office while I worked. But that image didn’t last long for me. Unlike my client, I am an active participant when it comes to my work and like to engage and interact with my staff and also require and enjoy their input and feedback.

So, I started to question in my mind what was really going on for my client. Was she beginning to feel more secure in her own sense of style and wanted to try it out while I was present or was it something more profound than this?

Fifty minutes into the hour, she asked if I would like a cup of tea. Sure I said, that sounds good right about now.

We took about a 15-minute break and sat outside on her deck. We talked about the weather, her new landscaping of shrubberies and a little about family.

As we walked back into her office, I asked her if she ever heard of the term “Body Doubling.” Her eyes widened and she just about whispered, “No, what is that?”

Well, I began; I believe that is what we are doing right now.

Having a person who is present and acting like and anchor, not an active assistant, allows the other person to stay focused and ignore distractions. I asked her if she agreed that was what we were doing.

“Absolutely,” she said. “Having you here somehow gives me permission to finish what needs to be done, and I don’t feel the urge to walk away.”

She wanted to know if the practice was common or highly unusual.

I explained that it depended-sometimes it is woven into the organizing practice quite naturally and in other circumstances it is introduced right away. One thing that is certain is that body doubling is highly effective and actually mirrors what organizing looks like.

With this new-found understanding, it made it easier for my client to accept that her initial request was in essence a particular organizing practice. Body doubling offers alternative solutions for people to succeed in their organizing endeavors, when they recognize they are challenged with distraction.

It was safe to say, my client and I worked silently for the next hour and a half and when I left, she felt empowered and satisfied with her accomplishments.

-Patricia Diesel
Keep It Simple Now