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Breaking The Cycle of Chronic Lateness

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Breaking The Cycle of Chronic Lateness

There are books, articles and studies performed to try and help people overcome their chronic lateness.  Some experts believe in order to break the pattern we need to look at not only what we are doing but why we are doing it.  I concur.

Let’s look at some examples of how people show up chronically late in areas of their life; appointments, interviews, ceremonies…

Take the classic physician who is always running late with patients.  Now in their defense, they will most likely explain their circumstances with reasons such as being over-booked, an emergency arose, or a populated epidemic of something.  Now from the patient’s perspective, who is in the waiting room 45 minutes or much longer, he is probably feeling anxious and a tad put-off, as it can be perceived as a lack of respect of  time.

In Anna’s case, there was no question that being on time was essential for her upcoming interview.  It was a company that she would be thrilled to work for. There was one problem.  With all the excitement, Anna forgot to verify the location.  By the time she was off and running, she realized she didn’t know exactly where she was going.  Hence, she showed up 30 minutes late for the interview.  Not only was she stressed out and embarrassed, but she carried that energy all throughout the interview process.  You can guess the outcome – Anna didn’t get the job.

When Brian’s childhood friend asked him to be the best man for his wedding, he admitted it was one of the highlights of his life.  Not only was it a huge honor, but it was a big responsibility.  He wanted to make sure everything went smooth and that his long time buddy could count on him during this happy occasion.  The morning of the wedding, Brian walked out the door and neglected to bring the wedding bands that his friend entrusted him with.  Just about halfway through his driving time to the ceremony, he realized he had to turn back home to go get them.  Needless to say, Brian was 15 minutes late.  Brian was so worried that he ruined the most important day of his friends life.  He apologized all day long.

A good starting point to breaking the cycle of lateness is to become consciously aware of your lateness and then to make the effort to prioritize being prompt.  You can begin with observing the cost of being late and the payoff of being on time.

Cost of being late – being late is upsetting to others and stressful for the one who is late.

Payoff of being on time – eliminates stress and the need to apologize.

The consequence of being late all the time runs deeper than this however.  When you are chronically late you are not showing up as the best version of yourself.  You are creating a reputation for yourself that is sending messages that people can’t trust or rely on you.  This impacts your relationships and your self-esteem.

Considering the technical aspect of why people are late is also important.  Not having good planning skills or how to estimate how long things will take can be critical.  A simple exercise you can try is to write down how long you think each thing you do will take and then compare it to how long it actually took to complete.  The comparison will help you find your pattern so you can adjust your time.

Learning how to say NO by either declining or deferring when people are asking things of you will also help you stay mindful with your commitment to time.  You can use catch phrases, such as;

“I would love to help but I have a prior commitment.”

I am on a tight deadline, so I have to pass on this.”

“I have plans during that time today, but maybe tomorrow I can.”

From an emotional/psychological aspect we can look at this from a different view.  Most people know what they are doing by arriving late.  They are choosing to arrive when they want.  The question is “Why?”  Here are some possibilities:

Resistance – Carried over from a rebelliousness childhood.

Crisis Maker – Thrives on mini crisis of running late.

Adrenaline – Need the rush of being under the gun to get things moving .

Anxiety – Fear about where they are going.

There are many tools that can be used to help decipher the why of what makes one late, but from a life coaching perspective, I can tell you that understanding where the emotional blocks come from is key to understanding why we do what we do and how to break the cycle.

In my new book – Life Coaching – a Guide to Hiring a Life Coach – I talk about how instrumental coaching has been in my life as well as how to go about finding a coach that can help you.  Through coaching you can find ways to overcome your lateness and begin to learn how to convert time into a pleasurable experience.

Life Coaching Book Cover

For a limited time you can receive a copy of Patricia’s new book with a special coaching offer.  Contact now @ (908) 642-1226 or email [email protected]

 

5 Productivity Habits Highly Successful People Demonstrate

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5 Productivity Habits

Highly Successful People Demonstrate

 

I have heard it said, (actually it was from Brendon Burchard, one of the top performance coaches in the world) that there are two types of people in this world – “People who say ‘I don’t know how’ and so therefore they stop” and “People who say ‘I don’t know how’ and they go and find out how.”

We could perceive that one type is successful while the other is unsuccessful if we were going to view this from a standpoint of productivity.  Speaking of productivity, I have also heard that highly successful people have a common trait.  They are consistent in producing. But beyond that, there are (according to Brendon Burchard) five habits that people demonstrate who are truly productive…let’s take a look.

Habit #1:  Raise Your Ambitions

“You are only productive to the degree of motivation stirred by your ambitions.”

~ Brendon Burchard

So what does this quote mean?  It asks;  What are you fired up about?  What are your dreams?  If you can’t answer this, then perhaps it’s time to ask the bigger question…What is your purpose in this life?  You can then work your way up from there.  We all need to feel connected to something that breeds life in us.  Can you remember when you were connected in the past to a dream and how excited you were?  I can tell you this, if you are feeling unproductive, it’s probably due to unclear ambitions.  So go ahead – go for it!  Remember this…raising your ambition doesn’t have to be about having more money, fancy cars, etc.  It can be about service, such as being a better dad or a better boss.  Even monks strive to deepen their meditation to their source….think about it!

 

Habit #2:    Own Your Morning

Now, let’s be truthful here.  If your morning is running on chaos, your day will be trapped in reaction mode – yes?  Of course it will be.  I learned a few statistics from Brendon on this matter.  I learned that we can gain 30% of our productivity if we choose not to check our email in the first 60 minutes of waking up.  It seems that 85% of us grab our phone upon rising, perhaps before we even give our significant other a morning kiss.  Amazing isn’t it?  I mean seriously, be honest … do you do this?  If you do, well guess what – you’re the ultimate reactionary!

Let’s take back control of our morning by simply putting some things into place that can help immediately:

  • Activate your body in the morning – you’re more resilient if you workout – try yoga/breathing/basic movements – stretch 15/20 minutes.
  • Eat a healthy breakfast – don’t skip this important meal. Work on this – trust me, it will serve you well.
  • Set your intention and an exact work schedule. For example, let’s say you are writing a book – well, set a time for how long you will write for and stick to it – remember, productivity needs a deadline.

 

Habit #3:  Work the Needle Movers

In other words, identify the things that need the most attention and work on them.  Did you know that 80% of what we work on doesn’t matter and it’s only the 20% that actually does?  Perhaps this tells us a little story on what we are focusing on.  Yes, you heard me, we need to focus on what is important – otherwise it will become a distraction if you choose those tasks outside of it.

I found this little tip to be extremely helpful:

Prioritize impact, not ease.  This simply means to attack the stuff that will have the most impact towards tomorrow, the next day, and your vision.

 

Habit #4:  Demonstrate, Then Delegate

Well this has always been a big one for me.  I am a firm believer that before we can turn our work over to another – we first must master it.  Meaning, we need to know the ins and outs of all of our work and feel confident that we understand all of it before we delegate.  How else can we expect another to do the type of job we expect of them?  If we don’t, we just set ourselves up for failure.

 

Habit # 5:  Use Performance Enhancers

I know, what you must be thinking…caffeine…right?  No, no, not at all.  There are three top performance enhancers that can help us focus and be more productive.

  1. Sleep – It’s so important.  Did you know that recent studies show that if you sleep 6 hours or less a night, that after the 10th day you are considered legally drunk?
  2. Meditation – It’s proven to lower stress and puts the brain in a better state.  It also allows the brain to recover better as you transition from one task to another.  It’s important to note that any time you do anything big you need to recover with hydration, movement, and a mental break.
  3. Plan – Yes, you heard it right. Listen, it’s important to plan your day, otherwise you will just be thinking through your stuff.  As Brendon says, “If you plan your day, you’ll be a weapon in your day” – awesome, right?

 

 

 

Check Out My Video From Lifetime TV

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LifetimeYes, it’s true…we live in a very busy world. It’s hard to slow down at times and just relax.

Now more than ever, the need to balance our life is critical to our overall well being.

Sometimes, we may find that if we choose to prioritize ourselves we can begin to see a difference in our overall wellness.

Try beginning your day by preparing the evening before. How you start your day does set the tone for the rest of the day. Doing a little prep work, may just be the ticket you need to begin feeling better.

Yes, life is a balancing act, but if we practice, we can become pretty good at it!

Check it out…